Should Love Be Tough?
For a lot of people the idea of hurting those whom they love sounds terrible; after all, how can one cause pain to somebody whom he considers to be the most important person in his life? But is it truly such an unthinkable thing as it is often stated?
I think that this idea has the root in the situation that has once been described by John Paul II: “Happiness nowadays is considered to be the sum of pleasures”. According to this maxim, the more pleasure the object of love feels, the better. But is it always right to let him or her feel pleasure? Aren’t there situations when it is necessary to take him by the scruff of the neck, shake up, shout in his ear to wake up, to come to action, to stop being an idiot, to think about himself. When we see that somebody we love does something extremely harmful, yet extremely pleasant for himself (simple example – uses drugs), should we shrug and say “I love him, therefore, I should let him have his pleasure”, or should we try and do something visibly harsh, but beneficial in the long run? I think that the latter alternative is better.
There are situations which call for action, and cruel action, in order to ensure that everything will be alright with the one we deal with. It is the age-old principle “Spare the rod – spoil the child”, but applied to people in general. Kindness does not always serve as a solution for any problem in human relationships. In some cases love not only can, it simply must be tough.