When I was little and spent summers at my grandparents’, I often used to put up a tent at the backyard, take a sleeping bag and spend warm summer nights there enjoying chirming of crickets, singing of birds, light delicate wind and whispers of the old trees. When the nights were clear, my Grandpa joined me and we used to lie on the warm and slightly wet grass, looking into the starry sky and talking about his past and my future.
When I met him, I was in the middle of an extremely traumatic relationship and balancing a very thin borderline between common sense and insanity, love to my boyfriend and equally strong hatred. I was tired, confused, physically ill and emotionally devastated. But for some strange reason he liked me. As for me, not only did I like him, but I was mesmerized by the idea of strength and stability, the tempting vision of the safe harbor. But for some strange reason, instead of choosing the road that would lead me to a stable mature relationship, I turned the other way and one day simply disappeared from his life.
When I think about the difficulties that I have had to overcome recently, the achievement which I am most proud of may seem like a trifle to other people. However, for me, who lives mostly on tea and coffee, the challenge of spending three days without an electric kettle was a dramatic battle with my habits.
Oh, how very nice! My car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I switched on the hazard warning lights and got out. A dark, empty highway without even a trace of presence of a human being: no gas stations, no road cafes, no little towns… Nothing! I started feeling a bit panicky. I reached my mobile only to get to know that the connection was currently unavailable. I felt sick. What should I do? Where should I go?
I have always hated being normal. The word “normal” was synonymous to boring, commonplace and irritating for me. I loved everything strange, slightly crazy and eccentric. When I was three, I enjoyed going to my nursery play group, wearing socks of different colors belonging to different pairs and the sunglasses which only had one glass. It seemed so natural to me that I did not even consider if it was right or wrong. And luckily, people around me took it for granted.
Until that day when my mobile phone woke me up with its alarm clock, gave me a farewell blink and shut down forever, I could not even imagine how much I depended on that little piece of technology. Immediately a feeling of restlessness overwhelmed my soul. I felt helpless and uneasy as if something important was missing. But I looked bravely into the future… I was determined to survive without it… At least, I was sure I would survive two weekend days until I buy a new one.
Red, tired eyes? Vague look? Strange behavior? Sounds like the symptoms of some severe addiction. And if a person whom you know suddenly starts being like this, he or she is definitely addicted, but what is worse, harm and danger of their addiction is not known. They are very likely to have been caught by the web, contaminated with the social networking virus and addicted to the Internet.
Even in my earliest childhood memories I remember how ambitious I was: I remember that when being three I was very upset about not being able to ride my three-wheeled bike as fast as my brother. I have always been extremely persistent and determined to develop, train and work hard in order to be the best. This quality of mine was praised both by my parents and teachers and I was seen as a highly motivated student and a keen sportswoman with a huge potential.